• Industry,  Reflections

    #PayForYourPorn for “Coerced Bi” as applied to content creators

    Piracy is epidemic. Tube sites are prolific in their distribution of stolen content with no sight of stopping or a glimpse of remuneration for our work. It’s demoralizing for creators as well as a nuisance to deal with it. From dedicating (read: wasting) designated periods of time to hunt down as many pirated clips in the plethora of sites, to hiring a service to do it instead, it’s a real threat to the morale and well-being of content creators, along with our industry. What happens when the ones committing piracy are members of your community? Within the “coerced bi” or “forced bi” fetish category it’s not uncommon to see pictures…

  • BDSM101,  Reflections

    On Top Drop

    It’s almost cliche how much we say “Top Drop” is often forgotten in the conversation when we talk about aftercare. The same way bottoms come crashing down from the chemical cocktail rushing through their bodies, so do tops. Depending on the scene, the top may experience the backlash that comes with intense physical and psychological exertion. Lactic acid builds up in your muscles, causing soreness and discomfort. They may experience the collapse from being in an altered psychological state; the “high” triggered by endorphins and adrenaline. Experiencing Top Drop will differ from person to person, as will the specific needs in order to come back from it once the scene…

  • Essay

    Decision fatigue and disentangling from it through service: a real-life application

    Our brain can only make so many choices throughout the day. We count on a limited resource to make them. It’s the premise of the phenomenon of “decision fatigue”. Barry Schwartz explores it in “The Paradox of Choice”. The fewer choices I have to make throughout the day, the better I function, and the more I can concentrate those resources into work. My submissive, as part of her service to me, is of great use when it comes to minimal spending and minimum waste. I’m able to delegate many tasks and decisions to my submissive in the best of cases. If unable to, I do it myself knowing “future me”…

  • Essay,  Female Led Relationships

    Regaining headspace when “life” gets in the way: maintenance spanking

    Regaining headspace when “life” gets in the way: maintenance spanking The concept of maintenance spanking is often linked to heteronormative Judeo-Christian marital domestic discipline practices based on biblical gender roles and sustained by bible verses, sometimes found by the name of the “Taken In Hand” (TIH) relationship model. “Female Lead Relationships” (FLR) might also partake in them; all of which wish to set themselves as far apart from BDSM due to the strong stigma our lifestyle and practices have. For our purposes, I’m stripping it from all of that and making a point of approaching maintenance spanking from a gender-indistinct point of view focused on power exchange dynamics using the…

  • Erotica,  Female Domination,  Female Led Relationships,  Lesbian Domination

    “Thank you for allowing me to serve, Mistress”

    She positions herself against the vanity in the bedroom, her round, peachy buttocks irresistibly presented to me. Her body is reluctant and apprehensive, but in the mirror, as her hair hangs loose and partially covers her face, what I see is the complete and utter resignation in her eyes. I try not to admire her displayed like that before me; try not to press my breasts against her trembling back and kiss her neck. There are little rituals and protocols we follow in our household to keep us in our respective headspaces in the menacing face of routine. Some of the more obvious ones involve her remaining nude when inside…

  • Essay,  Female Domination,  Female Led Relationships

    Regaining Our Agency In FemDom Through The Female Gaze

    Men and their desires have always been at the center of Female Domination. “It was men who coined the phrase,”  Elise Sutton wrote in their article What is Female Domination and Female Supremacy? ”to categorize their sexual desires to submit to the female gender” The female gaze isn’t part of it. It seldom has been, which is why turning the tables and prioritizing our gaze and our desires over theirs, making them the center of it, is an important aid in ceasing to be being the objects of Female Domination, instead, being the subjects. Femdom literature, artwork, photography, and other artistic portrayals, have been fashioned predominantly by men. It’s the…